I don't want to believe this ...I don't want to live with all these regrets. I shouldn't have given up on him. I know now our friendship is more valuable than any fear I may have. After all, though we all are guilty of innumerable things in our lifetime, I can't recall an occasion of his wrongdoing. I just found it difficult to accept the stance he took on certain unpopular issues. I feel bad now, that my noncommittal caused such hesitation, not allowing our friendship to weather a few bumps in the road. I somehow believe he is still alive ...and I must find him, and tell him I am sorry for being so cowardly, that I'd put my fears ahead of our friendship.